Time to zoom in what the models hold firmly in their right hand walk strolling down the run way. It’s not a bottle of Gatorade but mouth watering bags stuffed with paper, bubble wrap and what not. Landing at prices of €600-1000 and beyond, the bags tend to be the most limited and bank account ruining pieces, but their beauty is rarely appreciating by looking at low resolution images. So feast your eyes on this collage of SS09 line-up for bags plus some delicates from AW08.

Second homes have become the new way for the rich to mix business with pleasure. Watching a documentary about the rich and famous on MTV you might have asked yourself “Why the hell does Ophra Winfrey need 5 homes, can’t all her books fit in one house?”. It’s not that she and other wealthy individuals love the pleasure of having multiple houses as if they are playing Monopoly but more because they want to mix business with pleasure.

Buying a second home if done with calculation and a decent dose of speculation might flip into a profitable investment, and while owning the property it could serve as a hide away. Holiday homes is the new wave luxury vacation for the rich. Instead of spending money on living in expensive hotels dealing stressed out by other tourists and check out times, a second home offer the optimal environment for a busy and tense inner city executive to slow wind. It offers the luxury of freedom to be alone in one building and staying there as long as you please without the getting your credit card charged €700 per night.

Visiting the same holiday house can become an annual boredom which is why business like holiday home clubs have emerged. Pay €250 000 for a fractional ownership in a set of houses located in various places around the world and then an annual fee of €12 000 covering maintenance, insurance, furniture and concierge service. Offering the awesome desirability of choice between multiple homes these clubs are the perfection choice for those leaning more to the pleasure rather than investment. The relief of having someone else maintain the homes with you’re financial risk being minimal result in the supreme way of vacating.

One geographical area overlooked is East Asia. The ancient countries like Japan and China have a long history of simple living in the rural areas. Living according to philosophies revolving around the mind and the elements of earth, countries in the Far East have a rich culture of stress relief. Wake up six in the morning to the sound of the bird pulling you towards the outdoor terrace where you inhale clean and humid air while watching the mist sweeping across the canopy of dense vegetations. Energize your senses with a cup of chocolate mint tea while preparing a warm breakfast made out of freshly grown ingredients from the local market.

BMW have used Zen as inspiration for the new BMW 7-series(F07) which was unveiled last week. The F01 is replacing one of the most debated cars ever, the E65 which marked a new epoch in BMW’s history. With an ugly exterior design and complicated iDrive the E65 was never motor journalist’s favorite huggy bear. Responding to what has been harsh criticism towards iDrive the new 7-Series comes the revised iDrive 2.0 which BMW claim is more intuitive and easier to use than iDrive 1.0.

Unlike the controversial design of the E65 BMW hasn’t gone nuts with the new model but instead taken an evolutionary path of perfecting the areas of the predecessor. The front end of the F01 is highly similar to the E65 with near identical head lights but the new appearance is harmonizing and more mature rather than experimental. Some of the clientèle for cars like the Mercedes S-class, Audi A8, Lexus LS are men of discretion who will be very pleased by the slender and elegant design of the F01.

Dominated by huge tail lights the rear end has zero offensiveness about it and is less horrific than the predecessor and BMW 6-Series featuring the very famous “bangle-but”. The modern but tones down lines continues in the interior that has traditional cockpit with a T-shaped layout of wood panels scattered with high quality German buttons down the middle console. Much of the messy and imperfect lines and design cues of the predecessor have been ironed out and smeared with grace giving a sense of tranquility with few visual distractions. Although the design is appealing it runs the risk of looking boring next year when the S-Class receives a facelift and the new Audi A8 enters the market. Unlike previous BMW models this is the least striking model to roll out of Munich but as a whole a design success.

Feeling a bit of sweaty walking around with your feet covered in tube socks and sneakers with zero ventilation? Then a pair on ancient inspired gladiator sandals shall relinquish your feet from the discomfort of summer heat letting the little Sparta inside of you walk on a voyage towards style euphoria.

Gladiator sandals have for some time been a hot item amongst the female celeb fashion elite. So now it’s time for men to get out there on the field and battle it out with the opposite gender. More chic than bathroom flip flops tourists love wearing on trips abroad outdoors gladiator sandals are the ultimate summer footwear if made out of high quality leather with well crafted details in metal.

Walking in footwear exposing what could be gruesome feet comes with a big hygiene responsibility. Feet scare people, they touch the ground and can be very smelly not to mention make you throw breakfast up the throat. Therefore feet care is essential when sharing your toes with the rest of the world. Nobody would be delighted to see dirty feet walking all over their living room carpet. Step one is investing in a proper brush able scrubbing the feet clean as your hands. Smelly feet are easily taken care of with erhmm…deodorants for feet. If laziness is an obstacle a spray can of AXE should do the trick or any fragrance that laying around.

SS08 was gaspingly difficult for many to absorb due to the very private showroom presentation and simplistic nature of the clothes. But eventually some people came around and accepted it as a directional collection of what the new DH is. Jumping into a time machine 6 months ahead the AW08 was a revolution of the “low diet” SS08 with even more exaggerated pleats and darker colours than Darth Vader’s mantle. The style and left people with a strange taste mouth like after having eaten the piece of skin of an avocado. Still, the design of collection was very French, avant-garde looking just right for a prestigious and elegant French brand like Dior falling in line with YSL. All in all, a merely acceptable collection with insufficient style to awe an audience hoping to be blown away.

On his third attempt Van Assche has sadly failed one again. The correlation between the SS09 and his previous shows is zero. Assche doesn’t know what direction he wants to steer the DH in, he’s lost and is in desperate need of a compass. Marking himself as the new alpha male in the fashion house by creating a collection so different from Hedi’s work it was pretty clear that we were entering a new era. But now Assche is walking backwards trying to reinvent the wheel by creating a neo-Hedi summer collection which embarrassingly falls completely flat. Many familiar signature design elements are there like skinny style of the trousers worn by the typical premature models hired by Hedi. Additionally we can see what looks like new versions of the D-point belt. In there is also a bunch of random garments like a white Spiderman shirt and a few pieces which presumably have been ripped one or two times by Wolverine.

It’s not that the collection is ugly because truth be told there are a nice percentage of wearable pieces in their. What’s heartbreaking is the identity crisis shining throughout the outfits. Is it Van Assche’s work or a poor rehash of past in an attempt by Van Assche to flirt with Hedi’s followers? Regardless, he’s done a very poor job on his third chance of rising as the most influential men’s designer on the planet. With time it has become clear that DH is too big for him to manage, especially when he’s already struggling to put his on label on the map. Although Assche can’t arguably be seen as a poor designer he’s just not the right man for the job. Filling the shoes of a martyr for a design is a tough task which very few can accomplish.

One great designer is Chris Bangle who took over as the chief designer for BMW in the beginning of the latest century and is responsible for all bimmers introduced from year 2002 and forward. Despite criticism received for irregularities and ugliness with early car models he eventually came around with some very striking car models revolutionizing the design of automobiles. Van Assche on the other hand is now on the his last life and must deliver in February next year or else I fear that he might be replaced due to the overwhelmingly poor criticism Dior Homme is taking because of him.

+Cool sunglasses which probably caught the attention of Kanye West who sat on front row at the show.

+Outdoor presentation? Lovely!

+The high tops used on gravel will probably end up on a sample sale somewhere in Paris.

-American Apparel just called and wants their nylon Taffeta jackets back.

-Shiny clothes in bright colours are so SS08.

Grade: 4.6/10 Despite a fair degree of wearablity DH SS09 is shameful and is of the nature we should never have to witness again. Very weak collection with nothing that we’ve seen before neither does it fall in line with Van Assche’s previous work making it more difficult to understand DH’s new brand identity. This is monkey business with zero originality or character.